• 1
  Asad beemar hua to check up k liye gaya.
  
  Dr: Drip lagani paregi
  Asad adhi drip laga kar acha hogaya aur bola:
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  .
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  "Baaki Parcel Kardo"
  
  2
  
  Mard zyada Shareef hen ya Aurten?
  
  
  Ans: MARD
  
  Kyon k Mardon Mai
  
  Umar Sharif
  Nawaz Sharif
  Shehbaz Sharif
  
  
  Jab k Aurton Mai sirf
  
  Babra Sharif hi hy:)
  
  
  3
  
  # Pholon main tum,
  Baghon main tum,
  Khayalon main tum,
  Sapnon main tum,
  Dil main tum,
  Baton main tum,
  Yadon main tum,
  
  O tussi ghar v renday O k phirday e rendey O?
  
  4
  
  # What is at the end of “everything” ?
  ?
  ?
  ?
  …
  …
  …
  ?
  ?
  ?
  ?
  The letter G tumhain itna nahi pata4
  
  4
  
  

• 1
  
  Larki wale: Aap ka Beta kya karta hai?
  
  
  
  Larkay ki Amma ne kaha:
  
  
  
  Mera beta 3 Rupay mei 500 sms karta hai ROZANA...
  
  2
  # Beggar: Sir, plz give 50 paise.
  
  
  Man: I don't have.
  
  
  Beggar: Then come with me, lets beg together.
  
  
  3
  
  # SPORTS NEWS~
  
  
  The Most Dangerous Match of 2009 Coming on MAY 12 Between MQM & ANP, on the Roads of KARACHI.
  
  Both Teams r waiting 4 this Match...
  ANP called his Talented Players 4m Tribal Areas..
  
  MQM will Play with his local but most experience Players..
  
  Umpires: POLICE & RANGER... Live & Exclusive only on TV.. Don't Miss it.. For more detail Visit Karachi on May 12 at 8am till 10pm..
  
  4
  
  # Tension nahi lenay ka!
  
  Achay Sapnay dekhnay ka,
  Mast Life guzarnay ka!
  
  Jin Bhoot se nahi darney ka,
  
  
  Bole to,
  Shisha nahi Dekhney ka!
  
  5
  
  # Chor (Theif) ne apni Mangaitar ko Heeray ka Haar gift main diya.
  
  Mangaitar: Is Haar ki qeemat kya hai?
  
  
  Chor: 3 Saal Qaid-e-Ba Mushaqqat.... :-)
  
  6
  
  # Garma garam Biryani ki daig sirf aap k lye:
  
  
  ___ /__
  _) / (_
  / """" \
  (__________)
  /? //? /
  
  
  
  Chlo ab zada muskrao nhi.
  
  Dho ker wapis ker daina.
  
  
  
  

• 1
  
  1 Darya k Kinaray 2 Sardar Chamach (Spoon) se darya main Dahi daal rahy thy.
  
  Ek Pathan ne dekha to Pucha: Khocha ye kya kar rahy ho?
  
  Sardar: Hum Lassi Bana rahy hain.
  
  Pathan: Ha ha ha ha.. O Pagal ka bacha log is liye tum par lateefay banatay hain.
  
  
  Itni Lassi Tumhara Baap Piye Ga?
  
  
  2
  
  1 Admi Amrood bech raha tha:
  
  2 admi aya bola khan sahab amrud mei se keera nikla to?
  
  1 Admi: Bhai ye to tera kismat hai.
  
  Kal ek admi ka Moter Cycle nikla tha.
  
  3
  
  # Pathan apni Parrosan se: Mrs Thakur! Mai ne Aap se kaha tha k apne betay ko meri naqlien utarne se mana krien!
  
  Kya usay mana kia?
  
  
  Parrosan: Yes! Main ne usay mana kia k janwron jesi hrkat na kia kro.
  
  4
  
  #1 Admi Was Smoking Hukkah Wid A 2 Meter Long Pipe.
  
  His Frnd Asked , Y R U Using Such A Long Pipe???
  
  He Replied ,
  
  Dr. Has Advised Me To Keep Distance Frm Tobbaco.
  
  
  5
  
  # 2 ADMI chhat pe so rhe the.
  
  Ek dosre se bola: yar maachis kahaan hai?
  
  
  
  
  2nd: Teeli jala k daikh lo.
  
  
  6
  
  # Ek admi Coffee Shop pr gaya aur coffee ka order diya.
  
  Waiter order lekar gaya Aur door ja kr kuch ishara krne laga.
  
  Thori der baad usne BiLL la kr rkh diya.
  
  Admi: Ye kya! Meri coffee kahan hai?
  
  Waiter: Samajhdaar k liye ishaara hi COFFEE hai.
  
  7
  
  Question: Dunia main agar light nahi hoti to T.V kaisey dekhtey????
  
  
  
  
  
  Ans: Mom-Batti jala k.
  
  8
  
  A Aadmi 2 Aadmi: PTCL mein or MOBILE mein kia faraq hai?
  
  
  2Aadmi boht soch ker: PTCL mein Number Ungli se Dial kerte hain or MOBILE mein Angoothy se... :-)
  
  
  
  
  9
  
  1Aadmi aik Baraf Ka Tukra Utha Kar Usey Ghaur Se Dekh Raha Tha ...
  
  2Aadmi: Kya Dekh Rahe Ho... ??
  
  
  1Aadmi:Dekh Raha Hoon Ye Leak Kahan Se Ho Raha Hai...
  
  
  10
  Man 2 doctor: Mujhey 1 problem hay
  DR:Kia?
  
  Man: Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
  Dr: Aisa kub hota hay?
  Man: Phone kartay waqt.
  
  
  11
  
  
  
  12
  
  # Teacher: Akhbar aur Radio main kya Faraq hai?
  
  Student: Akhbar main Rotiyan lapait saktay hain, par Radio main nahi.
  
  13
  
  # Women's day per aik 1 larka ne 2 Larkay se kaha:
  "Aapko pata hai aaj Women's Day hai?"
  
  Larkay ne ghabra kar kaha: Kamaal hai jab hum ghar se nikla tha tab to TUESDAY Tha.
  
  14
  
  # 1 Admi ko gadhy ny laat mari
  Usy gussa aa gaya
  
  Wo utha or gadhy ko 2-3 laten mar kar bola:
  "Tu kia samhajta hai, Main tujh sy kam hon...?"
  
  15
  
  # Choose a no:
  4
  7
  10
  13
  14
  18
  20
  0.
  Then
  
  
  
  I will tell u
  
  Nothing
  
  *
  
  *
  
  
  
  
  Mujhe or koi kaam nahi he kia?
  
  Har waqt tumhary liye Peshan-Goiyaan he karta rahon.
  Main kya Najoomi hon?
  
  16
  
  # Khuda Kare Her Din Ap Ki Khushian
  Petrol K Rates Ki Tarhan Barhti Rahain
  
  
  Or Ghamoon Ki Supply Bijli Ki Tarhan Bandh Rahain.
  
  Bemaria aap k pas se is tarha ghaib hojae,
  Jis tarha Market se aata.
  
  
  Itni izzat aap ko mile k,
  jis ko koi rok na sake Khud Kush Dhamako ki tarah.
  
  
  Aap ki kismat khul jaye aur tamam Musibatu se jaan chot jae,
  Zardari ki tarah.
  
  Be Happy:-)
  
  17
  
  Tamaam Khubsoorat logon ko italaa di jati hai k.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Sorry Dear! Ye ittala sirf khoobsorat logon k liye hai.
  
  Tum apna kaam karo.
  
  18
  
  # When a wife was asked:
  
  What book do you like the best?
  
  
  She answers: My husband's Cheque book..
  
  19
  
  
  
  20
  
  
  
  

• # Kya ye Khabar sahi hai?
  
  Please GEO dekh kar ye khabar confirm kar do k,
  
  Karachi k Elaqay Al-Asif Square pe,
  
  Pathanon ki Hotel pe,
  
  Bohat he Zabardast.
  
  
  
  Chai milti hai!!!
  
  2
  
  Yesterday whole night I was thinking abt only U
  
  Only n only U
  
  Now I'm
  
  thinking of V.
  
  .
  
  .
  
  Tonight I'll think abt W, X, Y :)
  
  3
  
  # I miss you,
  I love you,
  I like you,
  Tu meri Jaan,
  Tu mera Chand,
  Tu meri subah,
  Tu meri Shaam,
  
  
  Ziyada khush hone ki zaroorat nahi hai,
  
  Ye sab meri Amma mujhe kehti hai..
  
  4
  
  # Wo Choom len aik baar to Urjaati hy Neend,
  
  Unki Awaaz Sunty sunty Raat Jati hy beet.
  
  Isliye kehty hen Ye Risk na Uthaao,
  
  
  "MORTEIN JALAAO"
  "MACHAR BHAGAO".
  
  5
  
  # Son: I Don't Want To Go School Ma! All The Teachers Think I Am Stupid
  &
  The Kids Hate Me.
  
  Mom:No! U Should Go, Bcoz U R The
  
  
  "Principal"
  
  6
  
  He got me from the bar
  He took me in his car
  He took my top off
  And put his lips against mine
  But dont worry
  m a bottle of APPLE JAM.
  7
  
  ; ; ; ; ; ;
  c("""") c("""")
  """" """"
  
  
  
  $pecia£ TEA
  
  Ek mere leye
  !
  Aur
  !
  dosri b mere leye.
  
  Tum Chahye To Apni Bana K Pio.
  
  8
  
  
  I WANT U
  
  I LIKE U
  
  I MISS U
  
  I LOVE U
  
  
  
  
  All these sentences are the examples of "PRESENT INDEFINITE TENSE"
  HA HA
  
  9
  
  Do u know boys left hand or girls right hand me watch kyn pehante hain??
  
  
  Guess
  
  
  s0cho
  
  
  
  Simple,
  
  
  
  
  
  Time dekhne k Ly ;-)
  
  10
  
  # Aapko Hum.
  
  Sirf Aapko.
  
  Ary Aapko,
  
  Han Aapko,
  
  Han han aapko,
  
  Baba aapko,
  
  Only aapko,
  
  Aur kisi ko nahi bas aapko,
  
  
  Humesha Tang Karengay.
  
  11
  
  # He: Dukha Kya?
  She: Zara bhi nahi.
  
  He: Aur Ek Baar?
  She: Ab isme Daalo.
  
  He: Achha laga?
  She: Haa. Bahoot.
  
  He: OK.MADAM KA SANDLE PACK KARO.
  
  12
  
  #
  
  
  Matlabi,
  Dhokay Baz,
  
  Jhootay,
  Khud Garz,
  
  Lalchi,
  Wada Khilaf,
  
  
  Khuda aapko in sab logon se door rakhy.
  
  13
  
  # Ek admi Coffee Shop pr gaya aur coffee ka order diya.
  
  Waiter order lekar gaya Aur door ja kr kuch ishara krne laga.
  
  Thori der baad usne BiLL la kr rkh diya.
  Admi: Ye kya! Meri coffee kahan hai?
  Waiter: Samajhdaar k liye ishaara hi COFFEE hai.
  
  
  14
  
  aik ADMI america jata hai. usay chicken khanay ko dil karta hai lekin usay pata nahi hota k english mein murghi ko kya kehtay hain. wo aik hotel mein gaya aur order kia....egg's mother
  
  
  
  
  
  15
  
  # AIK LARKA School main hans raha tha:
  2 Larka bola: Chup kar jao.
  
  1 LARKA: Kyon? Aur tum kon ho?
  
  2 Larka: Main Monitor hon.
  
  
  1 LARKA: Main CPU hon. :-)
  
  16
  
  1 ADMI Photo Studio main Gaya,
  Us ne ek baat kahi jisay sun kar Photographer Pagal ho gaya.
  
  
  ADMI 1: Oh yara!!! Ek Passport size photo lena par us main Shoes bhi aana chahiyen.
  

# Don't keep Me in your Heart,
But keep Me in your Brain,

Bcoz


Rehnay ki jaga jitni Khali ho utna he Maza aata hai.






# LUCKNOW k Bachey
"LUCKNOW" Me 2 Bachey Aapas Me Larr Rahe Thy.

1st Ne 2nd Se Kaha: Dekhiye Janab ! Agr Aap Humari Baat Nhi Mane'n
Gy Tou Hum Aap k Walid-e-Mohtaram Ki Shan Me Ghustakhana Kalmat Pesh Kare'n Gy.

2nd: Tou Hum Aap k Rukhsar-e-Mubarak Pe Aisa Tamaancha Baja Laye'n Gy k Gaal Gulaab Ki Patti Ki Trha Chamakne Lagy Ga .. ;->






# BV: Mein tumhari zindagi ke Kitaab hon..
.
.
.
Husband: Yehe to afsos hy,
Calendar hoti To haar saal badal leta.







# Shadi main Munna apny Papa se: Papa khana kab khaengay?

Papa: Dear Dulha Dulhan aayengay, Paison(Rs) ka Lifafa den gay, phir khana khaengay.

Munna Bhag k gaya Stage pe aur Dulhay se kehne laga: Ye lo Rs.100 2 Plate Biryani aur Salad k Paise kaat lo.





Tum dosti ka wo dagh ho

Jse hum ARIEL se dho nhi sakte

RIN se saaf nhi kr skte

SURF EXCEL se mita nhi skte

Q
K

Dagh to ache hote hain, Jese app.






master shagird se khali jaga pur kro 900 choohay kha kr bili ...... chali
shagird ! 900 chohay kha kr billi thumak thumak k chali
master kharay ho jao mujh se mazak krtay ho
shagird sir ye bhi mene aap ka dil rakh nay k liye kaha ha warna 900 chohay kha kr bili to ki us ka baap bhi nahe chal sakta







# Going To School...!
Early one mornin‘, a mother went in to wake up her son ...



mother : “Wake up, son ... Itz time to go to school !“ ...



son : “But why, Mom ? .. I don‘ want to go.“ ...



mother : “Give me two reasonz, why U don‘ want to go.“ ...



son : “Well, da kidz hate me for one, ... n da teacherz hate me, too !“ ...



mother : “Oh, datz no reason not to go to school .. Come on now n get ready .“ ...



son : “Give me two reasonz, why I should go to school.“ ...



mother : “Well, for one, u‘re 45 yearz old .. n for another, u‘re da Principal !“ ...







kahte hain ki jab koi kisi ko bahut yaad karta hai to 1 tara toot ke girta hai, 1 din saara aasman khali ho jayega aur aapki wajah se ilzaam mere sir aayega







# a sardar prayers daily for 2 hours
hey vaheguru meri lottery lagade
after 11 years vaheguru angrily appears and says:
oye ullu de pathay ek bar ticket to lee le






# A jutt in Karachi went to bank for opening an account.
he took one form and went to Islamabad.
do u know why?
Because in the form he read!
"write in capital"







sardar: aaj main ne pani ko ullu bana diya.
freind: pani ko ullu? woh kaise?
sardar: oye! subha main ne pani garam kiya
aur thande pani se naha liya




Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye panse huye hain.






In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

1

Apna mobile uthao, hamara dil apko kuch batana chahta hai..







Choro mobile wapas rakh do
Irada change ho gaya.
Phir kabhi...

2

Train Me 1 Larke Ne Cigarete Jalai,

Pas Bethe Admi Ne Usse Kaha;
Cigarete k Dhuwai'n Se Meri Tabyat Khrab Hony Lgti Hy


Larka Bola: Tou Aap Smoking Q Krty Hyn?